The compound is under construction. Gathering enough plywood, galvanized tin and used trailers takes time, not to mention stockpiling all the shotgun ammo, canned goods and bourbon.
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a. A very comfortable fleece bathrobe b. Very comfortable plaid flannel pajama pants c. A 2005 Shamrock Shuffle long sleeve tee shirt
3. Two things you want very badly at the moment:
a. To successfully resolve a beef I've got with the administrators of a medical flexible spending account I have through work b. To get back to brewing our own beer this winter
a. Pumpkin pie b. Pecan-crusted pork tenderloin stuffed with apples and Maytag blue cheese
7. Two people you last talked to on the phone:
a. The eldest b. My brother
8. Two things you are going to do tomorrow:
a. Meet with my human resource director about the beef I mentioned earlier b. Attend the first of several work-related Christmas parties.
9. Two longest car rides:
a. Chicago to San Antonio--about 1200 miles, more or less b. Chicago to New Orleans--about 950 miles, more or less (well, neither of these things changed in the last couple of days)
10. Two of your favorite beverages:
a. Bourbon b. Smoothies with yogurt and frozen berries. I make good ones.
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Stay tuned. Later this week I'll be featuring a new Germany or Florida amputee criminal holiday edition!
Post-holiday resonses to pre-holiday tags
Jin ran by and tagged me so quickly and surreptitiously that I almost didn't catch it, what with all the holiday hubbub and all.
1. Five names you go by:
a. Joe b. Joseph c. Bubs d. Dad e. Sir
2. Three things you are wearing right now:
a. Reading glasses b. My 2008 Lincolnwood Turkey Trot long sleeve tee c. Black Chuck Taylors
3. Two things you want very badly at the moment:
a. To weigh 20 pounds less than I do b. To not have a painful bone spur on my foot
4. Three people who will probably fill this out:
Holiday season. No time for tagging now. Move on. 5. Two things you did last night:
a. Taught the palm-heel strike to my 4 year old niece. b. Slept like a rock.
6. Two things you ate today:
a. Mi Xao Do Biên b. Spring roll
7. Two people you last talked to on the phone:
a. My brother b. Mizbubs
8. Two things you are going to do tomorrow:
a. Sleep late b. Put up Christmas decorations
9. Two longest car rides:
a. Chicago to San Antonio--about 1200 miles, more or less b. Chicago to New Orleans--about 950 miles, more or less
10. Two of your favorite beverages:
a. Ice water b. Strong coffee with half and half
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Right around the same time Jin tagged me, I got hit with another one.
Tim Broderick, a really cool writer/artist who's a friend of Johnny Yen, tagged Johnny and I. Tim asked what movies we'd watch if it was just a dad's night--no mom around. You can see Mr. Yen's response here.
I lack the will right now to tag others, but if you'd like to play, consider yourself tagged with either or both of these little exercises.
Enjoy your weekend!
Leftovers
Let's talk for a moment about leftover stuffing, in particular. What do you do with it?
Cover it in foil and heat it in the oven, and it runs the risk of drying out. Adding broth to it before reheating might keep it moist, but it might make it too wet once it heats up. Heating it in the microwave might work in small amounts, but it also risks turning the stuffing gummy and rubbery. Don't want that.
May I make a suggestion?
Fry it.
The eldest was reheating some stuffing for breakfast, and commented on how it contained so many appropriate breakfast foods: sausage, cornbread, pecans, dried cherries and apples. Then she said that the stuffing, once it was in a bowl for reheating in the microwave, reminded her of the way crab cakes look before you shape them into patties for frying. Why not, she said, try and make little stuffing cakes and fry them? I leaped out of my chair and grabbed a skillet, eager for a new adventure in frying.
What we did was beat a couple of eggs and then mix them in with the stuffing in a mixing bowl. Then it was into a few tablespoons of oil in a skillet. They began to crumble, and I pressed them down with a spatula until they resembled fat potato pancakes. They fried up beautifully, crispy and brown. The sausage released its fat, spicy and savory, the pecans gave off a wonderful toasted flavor, the cherries added a sweet note, and the cornbread reminded you of cornmeal batter on fried catfish, or of hushpuppies.
But sweet Jeebus, were they rich. One was definitely enough.
We each had two.
Happy Thanksgiving
The turkey is marinating in what is now the official poultry marinade of Sprawling Ramshackle Compound:
1 stick of butter 1/2 cup of olive oil juice of one lemon 3-4 tablespoons of honey 2 tablespoons of Tony Chachere's seasoning A few dashes of Worcestershire sauce A few dashes of hot sauce
-Heat the ingredients together until the butter melts, then use an injecteur de gout to shoot the marinade into the turkey in several places. Pour any remaining marinade over the turkey and refrigerate overnight. I am enjoying a post-work bourbon and catching up on my email. Before work I managed to bake a chocolate bourbon pecan pie, and amazingly enough I have also managed to not yet eat any of it.
I have to go in to work in the morning, but I plan on taking some comp time so I can come home early and fry the turkey, then it's off to my brother's house in tornado alley for a late afternoon family feedbag.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
There's a reason we eat turkeys on Thanksgiving
And you want to know what that reason is?
It's because turkeys are aggressive, kill crazy birds that are increasingly marauding into suburban backyards across the nation, and they need to be controlled, that's why.
For the Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America . . . He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard...
Yes, it's true that reasonable people have far more to fear from alligators than from turkeys. For now. But that doesn't mean we should, for a moment, let our guard down.
Witness the horror of this unprovoked attack. Anecdotal evidence clearly proves that turkeys are increasingly targeting the youngest and most vulnerable among us:
Witness this unprovoked attack on a woman in North Olmsted, Ohio, as she's driven back into the safety of her home by a rampaging tom:
As I said before, this phenomenon is not limited to one region. Attacks have been documented throughout the midwest as well as in Pennsylvania and Massachusetts. The Boston Globe recently ran a helpful article titled Tips to stop wild turkeys from terrorizing you. As a public service, I'll reprint some of the best advice from the article:
Don’t let the turkeys intimidate you. Don't hesitate to scare or threaten a bold, aggressive turkey with loud noises, swatting with a broom or water sprayed from a hose. A dog on a leash is also an effective deterrent.
Cover windows and other reflective objects. If a turkey is pecking at a shiny object such as a vehicle or window, cover or otherwise disguise the object. Harass the bird by chasing it, squirting with a hose or other means of aggression...
Educate your neighbors. Pass this information along: Your efforts will be futile if neighbors are providing food for turkeys or neglecting to act boldly towards the birds. It requires the efforts of the entire neighborhood...
"Educate your neighbors. Pass this information along..." Sound advice, my friends.
Finally, one last video that offers hope. It is much the same with turkey attacks as it is with flesh eating zombie outbreaks: very often the gun-happy redneck is best equipped to recognize and deal with the threat. This video is a perfect illustration both of the turkey's aggression, and the appropriate human response. Watch as the savage tom turkey pwns a decoy, and is in turn totally pwn'd by a trio of hillbilly ninjas somewhere in Florida:
CONSTANT VIGILANCE!
Give a child some sugar, and a camera...
The final head count for dinner Saturday was 24. Five of those were kids ages 10 and under. Here's what the evening looked like through the eyes of our nieces and nephews as they ran through our very tiny house screaming and taking pictures:
Here's a duck with a half-full can of Miller High Life stuck up his fundament, mid-roasting.
Fried turkey there.
MizBubs works the stove.
And, like these events always do, it ends with a brother-in-law sleeping on your couch:
Like a Christmas brothel
So we've been getting ready for this weekend's MizBubs family shindig. One of the things we did, MizBubs and I, was run a few errands Thursday. One of those errands involved getting a valance for the upstairs bathroom. We thought it looked kind of funky, a little discordant for the rest of the bathroom, but in a good way:
Our youngest was just finishing with cleaning up the bathroom to get it ready for company and I asked her what she thought of the new valance. Her response was muted, and I picked up that she didn't really like the new look.
Me: I think it looks kind of funky. Like a New Orleans brothel.
Hannah: Yeah, if it was a Christmas brothel...
MizBubs had it down and put back in its original packaging by the time I even sat down to post this.
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In other early-Thanksgiving holiday news, we grabbed our fresh free-range turkey and a couple of ducks for frying and roasting tomorrow. The turkey goes into the fat, one duck gets a half-full beer can shoved up its fundament, and the second duck will be roasted in the traditional manner. MizBubs bought me an injecteur de gout, and this year will be the first time I make a homemade marinade to inject into the turkey before frying.
The house is relatively clean, and we hung a little piece of folk art I got in New Orleans in March, but hadn't found a home for yet:
It will now greet visitors as they walk into the kitchen from the front door. Doctors Von Monkerstein and Zaius, take note.
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Here is tomorrow's menu:
Maytag blue cheese with fruit and bread (thank you, MizBubs' brother!) Spanakopita Deep fried turkey Beer can duck Roast Duck
Cornbread dressing with hot sausage, apples and pecans Baked butternut squash with blue cheese and walnuts (thank you, Miz Splotchy!) Corn pudding Southern-style green beans Warm cabbage, onion and apple slaw (recipe courtesy of Megan) Garlic smashed potatoes
Chocolate pecan pie Pumpkin orange spice pie Cranberry apple crisp (thank you, sister-in-law Nancy!) Vanilla ice cream
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Time to go. If you'd like you can hang out in Hannah's room. I find it funny that the kid with purple Christmas lights in her room found our bathroom valance garish. Oh well. We'll call you when dinner's ready.
Shiny shiny, shiny shoes of pleather
Yes, those are my shiny shoes. My honor guard shoes, all shined up and ready for action.
I wore them tonight to post colors before the graduation ceremony for our department's latest citizen police academy. We marched out, I barked out commands without any gibberish flowing from my lips like it does in the nightmares, posted the colors, and everyone said the pledge of allegiance. I understand the crowd was impressed.
The last couple of days were filled with honor guard stuff. One of our retired officers, a great cop and a great character, died this week and will be waked and buried this weekend. He retired a few years before I got hired; I worked with both his nephews, and know his son who's a commander in a nearby department. A few years after his retirement he came back to work for our department as a civilian. He worked as a community service officer--one of those guys who come out when you're locked out of your car, or someone's dog won't stop barking. He never really stopped being a cop though.
Back when I was a detective, and he was working as a CSO, he saw someone sitting in a car across the street from a bank and thought the guy looked funny. Not "ha ha" funny, but "hmmm" funny. He walked up to the car to ask the man if he needed help (this was his story, anyway--I think he really walked up to the car because he thought the guy looked suspicious, just like he would've when he was on the job years earlier) and he noticed what appeared to be a fake beard on the passenger seat, with what looked like a gun underneath it.
He backed away from the car and called for a beat car. It was a fake beard, it was a gun, and the man in the car was planning on robbing that bank. A regular person would've driven by that guy sitting in the car and not looked twice. The bad guy gave a full statement, got charged, and ended up going away for a few years.
I once saw a picture of this man from the mid-70's, taken by a reporter during a brawl as he dragged away some hapless mook. He was a badass: stocky and tough. In the time I knew him he was skinnier and older, somewhat stooped and wisened, and loved his smokes and his beer.
Anyway, I'm on vacation starting Thursday, and I can't participate in the honor guard for his wake on Friday. In the three years that my department has had an honor guard this will be the first time I haven't been there to run a detail. It feels strange. When we got done with the citizen police academy tonight I went over the particulars of posting a silent guard at the wake with a couple of officers who'll be doing it on Friday. I did my best to make sure they are prepared, and passed on a list of instructions for the sergeant who'll be running the detail.
The reason I'm on vacation is that this weekend is MizBubs' early Thanksgiving celebration for her brothers and their families. We've done this for a few years now. Everyone assembles here, we end up with about 20 people on Saturday for a big dinner, we hang out all weekend, and then a few of us run in the Lincolnwood Turkey Trot on Sunday morning. It's a good time. We have a heck of a menu planned, too. Maybe I'll write about it later.
So, as of right now, I'm on my own time Jack. It feels good.
I hope all of you have good things planned for this weekend, and are surrounded by people you love.
Closing time with Johnny and Bob
On, Wisconsin!
On, Wisconsin! On, Wisconsin!
Grand old Badger state!
We, thy loyal sons and daughters
Hail thee good and great.
On, Wisconsin! On, Wisconsin!
Champion of the right.
"Forward," our motto - God
Will give thee might!
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God may give many things to our cheese eating, brandy swilling neighbors to the north, but giving new life to the decomposing corpse of your 90 year old grandmother is not one of them.
Tammy Lewis of Necedah, Wisconsin, was recognized as Freak of the Week on this blog back in May 2008: Freak of the week: midweek sex & death edition. Ms. Lewis, aka Sister Mary Bernadett, was arrested, along with self-styled "Bishop" Alan Bushey (pronounced boo-shay), for keeping the decomposing body of Lewis' grandmother propped up on a toilet for several months while they cashed her checks and Bushey promised to eventually raise her from the dead.
Wisconsin authorities, relieved that Lewis did not engage in the usual Wisconsin style necrophilia and cannibalism, agreed to let her plead no contest to misdemeanor charges. Lewis' defense attorney, Dan Berkos, is hopeful:
Shilts was charged with misdemeanor fourth-offense operating while intoxicated, felony discharging bodily fluids at a public safety worker, misdemeanor operating after revocation and three felony counts of bail jumping tied to other pending felony cases. He could face up to 15.5 years in prison, if convicted on all counts.
Sometimes, when I gets my drink on, I like to do a little dance.
Sunday odds and ends
I came home from work tonight and found this on the dining room table:
MizBubs, her mom and our youngest had gone out to some thrift shops this afternoon. Our youngest definitely scored the best stuff. Not only did she get the earth-tone yarn art masterpiece pictured above, she also got this 5x7 print:
Her room is already a riot of color and curiosities
There was no Sunday afternoon cocktail, since I was at work. I know, if I was any kind of hard-working, two-fisted old-school detective I wouldn't let being at work stop me from drinking. Well, just because there wasn't a Sunday afternoon cocktail doesn't mean there can't be a Sunday evening cocktail. Hell's bells, it doesn't even have to be a proper cocktail.
Tonight's drink is bourbon. Wild Turkey 101, on the rocks, with just a splash of water. Drink and repeat as needed.
From father to daughter- Bubs-ette's favorite films
Well, my dad just tagged me with this movie list dealy. It seems pretty fun, so I figure I'll fill it out. See if you can guess my favorite genre at the end!
An American Werewolf in London- "A naked American man stole my balloons!"
Bad Taste- humans, the ultimate fast food experience
Children of the Corn- and people wonder why I don't usually like kids...
Dead Alive- "I kick ass for the lord!"
Evil Dead 2- "Groovy."
Frankenhooker- supercrack
Genesis- I love short films
TheHaunting (the original)- probably the scariest movie I've ever seen
Ichi the Killer- one of the craziest things I've ever seen
Jason X- so bad it's good
Killer Klowns from Outer Space- way scarier than I thought it would be, great theme song too
Land of the Dead- "Zombies man, they creep me out."
Martin- is he a vampire?
Night of the Living Dead (the original)- the first and greatest flesh eating zombie film
The Omega Man- Heston...cool? It totally works though!
Pan's Labyrinth- magnificent
Queen of the Damned- I know it sucks, but it reminds me of being 15
Return of the Living Dead- "You mean the movie lied?"
Slither- great cast, great gore, great movie
Teeth- so very, very wrong
Urban Legend- the first one was kinda fun
Vampyres- who doesn't love early 70s British lesbian vampire movies?
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane- I don't even know what to say, it's so scary X-Men- I can't think of any other one, so I'll keep mom's
Young Frankenstein- GENIUS!
Zombi (or Zombie 2 if you prefer)- Lucio Fulci, what's with the eye injuries?!
This list is vastly incomplete and neglects loads of great films, but it'll have to do.
Shocking
As if everything that's happened in the last 8 years isn't enough...
Did the twins convince him this was a good way for the GOP to start reaching out for the youth vote? The mind reels...
Ah well. At least he didn't add the "and a fiddler on the roof" wiggling thumb gesture.
I've Got To Run Faster... I've been tagged again!
Hello, everyone. Mizbubs here. I let my guard down, and Bubs caught me again! Samurai Frog hit Bubs with this. He also asked that any of the tagged please link back to the original post on Blog Cabins. So, here goes: A- Animal Crackers - a New Years Eve must!
B - Blow Up - I first saw this on TV as a pre-teen. I was fascinated.
C - Citizen Kane
D - Double Indemnity - My Three Sons' dad was an actor?
E - Enter the Dragon
F - Face/Off - You've got to love the doves...
G - Grand Hotel
H - Help - more than a movie, it's a philosophy.
I - In the Heat of the Night
J - Journey to the Center of the Earth - I had a crush on James Mason for a while.
K - Kill Bill:Volume 1
L - Lord Love a Duck - Has anyone else ever seen this?
M - The Man with the Golden Arm - I'm strictly a pre-Rat Pack girl.
N - Notorious - don't drink glowing milk!
O - On the Waterfront
P - The Public Enemy - James Cagney was another early love...
Q - The Quiet Man - Can I be Maureen O'Hara when I grow up?
R - Rebecca - turns out I was actually thinking of "Laura" with Gene Tierney and Dana Andrews. Oh well.
S - The Shop Around the Corner
T - The Thin Man - My eldest daughter is named Nora. Need I say more?
U - An Unmarried Woman
V - Village of the Damned
W - Wait Until Dark - pretty scary for a movie with no blood!
X - X-Men
Y - Young at Heart
Z - Zulu - One of those movies you watched on Sunday afternoon when nothing else was on.
So, there you have a glimpse into my celluloid influences. (OK, some movies just start with the right letter.) Thanks for reading!
Florida: Prepare for your new insect overlords
As if Florida doesn't have enough to worry about, now comes this story:
And do you know who's to blame for this situation? No, not God.
Lizard-owning freaks, that's who:
Lizard owners may be aiding the import of the new varieties, according to a pair of UF scientists at the Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences. Roaches make a good replacement for crickets -- which are noisier, smellier and more expensive -- as reptile food.
Alphabet movie meme
It's been a little while since I've been tagged, and I have to say the ego is happy to be recognized again.
This is pretty straightforward if you're any kind of a movie buff: go through the alphabet with movie titles. Samurai Frog hit me with this. He also asked that any of the tagged please link back to the original post on Blog Cabins so Samurai can be king of teh Googles. I tried not to over-think it, and I just listed the first movie that popped into my head.
Anguish: A creepy movie featuring a midget woman and a whole lotta eye injuries.
Bedlam: One of the movies that made a huge impression on me as a kid. Boris Karloff stars, Val Lewton produced, and it's set in Bethlem Royal Hospital--the psych hospital where people paid to come in and gawk at the mental patients.
Carnival of Souls: The original--a moody, unsettling little black and white gem.
Dawn of the Dead: I'm still partial to the original. I saw it at a drive in when it first came out with a bunch of other splatter films.
Escape From New York: "You're the Duke! You're A-number-one!"
Freaks: One of my youngest daughter's favorites. A morality tale set in a sideshow.
Goldfinger: Bond. James Bond. The real James Bond, Sean Connery, and Oddjob, and the best Bond theme song ever.
House on Haunted Hill: The original with Vincent Price, of course.
Intolerance: I know I saw this movie at Facets Multimedia, but I can't remember anything about it, and I have no idea why this was the first "I" title that came to mind.
Juliet of the Spirits: Fellini, but not one of my favorites by him. Again, no idea why this came to mind first.
Kiss Me Deadly: One of the great noir classics.
Longest Day, The: D-Day epic with a cast of thousands. I love this movie.
M: An absolute classic Fritz Lang movie starring a young Peter Lorre as a pedophile murderer.
Night of the Hunter: More noir. A truly terrifying Robert Mitchum as the psychopath posing as an itinerate preacher.
O Brother Where Art Thou: Goofy depression-era fun from the Coen brothers.
Pickup on South Street: Holy cow, I had no idea this list would be so heavy with film noir titles. Favorite line, uttered by Richard Widmark: "Are you waving the flag at me?"
Q: I like Larry Cohen. He also did It's Alive, God Told Me To and Maniac Cop (tag line: You have the right to remain silent. Forever.)
Slapshot: I need to see this one again to find out if it's as funny as I remember it.
Touch of Evil: OK, last film noir title. This movie has the greatest opening credit sequence ever filmed. Plus you get Charlton Heston in tan makeup as a Mexican!
Unforgiven: I'm surprised this was the only western title that showed up.
Vixen: YEAH BABY. I think it's safe to say that discovering the films of Russ Meyer when I was 17 had a profound effect on my development.
Wolf Man, The: "Even a man who is pure in heart..."
Xtro: This was a schlocky little piece of crap that we saw at either the Riviera or the Bryn Mawr.
Z: By Costa Gravas. I know I saw this one during my serious movie phase, but I couldn't tell you anything about it now. I tag Johnny Yen, Mob, Jin, Eric, MizBubs and our eldest.
Daniel Cunningham thanks you for your support
Daniel Cunningham is this week's Freak of the Week. The former "Dr." Cunningham won with an impressive plurality; Spuds the Vicar and Peemaster Devaux tied for second place with 4 votes each.
I think he's clearly a charismatic figure. I mean, not anyone could convince people to pay rent to live under a scaffold with a tarp over it, while also persuading them to submit to mystery injections. I took time out from sitting and obsessing about how Cunningham managed to wield a hypo while wearing socks on his hands to look up more about this slumlord and medical trailblazer. A little searching found this link to the Honolulu Star Bulletin guide to 2008 mayoral candidates.
I'm going to go ahead and post the profile questions and his answers. All I can say is, if President-elect Obama's staff has not yet gotten Dr. Cunningham on board, they'd better do so quickly.
The questions are in bold italics, and Cunningham's answers appear in dark red:
What qualifies you to be Honolulu’s mayor?
Good ideas and determination.
My doctor’s license was revoked for an inexpensive “in vivo” stem cell therapy in 1996. I got the Free Energy Party on the ballot in 2002 and I have repeatedly run for mayor and governor since.
I have also been on KITV television over a “house in Kalihi” for the homeless and ‘Olelo Channel 54 to put the U.S. Navy on the grid and a 21st-century “Noah’s Ark” built with steel and reinforced glass and plastic. The result is an accountable government that pays the citizen, cleans the planet of mercury poisoning, and is infinitely energy independent.
If elected, will you proceed with the city’s planned rail transit project?
No, rather, a rail in a floating capacity to industry and real estate at Keehi Lagoon via the confluence of the freeways, airport and city. Such a rail for transitioning large populations of people into a floating existence by building a mega-pool cleaner would have a joint mushroom effect upon the economy given access to nuclear. Electric vehicles that don’t break down would best be privately owned without insurance necessity.
Nuclear affords the capability to boil every drop of water on this planet an unlimited number of times and is 3 million times as efficient as coal.
Under what circumstances would you consider raising city taxes or fees?
Under no circumstance. The power to tax is the power to destroy. Why not a floating government that provides, protects and segregates. A $10/hour job on decommissioned nuclear aircraft carriers converted to steel mill/recycle centers for prisoners is a secure tax base until obsolescence. The best rehab is a good job with a future. So far government is a dismal failure. It does not recycle half what to speak of mercury-laidened light bulbs.
In a floating capacity government efficiency is improved 1,000 percent and truly becomes a tool of the people.
What can the mayor do to address the homeless problem on Oahu?
Provide an effective structure by which function will inevitably occur. Decommissioned Navy ships integrated with a diversified dock system built with recycled materials would serve as the scaffolding for the mega-pool cleaner and interim living facilities for the needy as well as a job market.
Our education is an inheritance. “Inherit the Kingdom at hand having been prepared for you from the beginning of the world.” Matt 25:34. If the Bible is relevant “heaven” somewhere else is a Babylonian myth. Why not create infinite wealth and change through progress? Change is the only universal constant.
What can the city do to help residents cope with rising prices and an ailing economy?
Edmund Rothchild stated that if he controls the currency man can make whatever laws he likes but Rothchild will determine their destiny. There is an alternative to a privately owned fiat money system.
A floating desalinisation plutonium economy provides a limitless source of power for a stable economy. Money is power only to the extent of confidence in the paper itself which has no intrinsic value. Electricity as power has intrinsic value in the performance of work. As the cost of electricity goes down into oblivion so does the necessity for money.
Freak of the Week: Post Election Edition!
Sure, some of you people are still walking around all happy and starry-eyed, celebrating Tuesday's victory.
Not me.
An Obama presidency may change a lot of things, but until I see concrete proposals on how his administration plans on addressing the serious concerns I have, I will not let my guard down. No sir. Until I see that "yes, we can" means "yes, we can finally deal with our alligator problem" or "yes, we can carry out preventive detention on a large segment of the clowning community" my personal watchword will remain, as always:
Constant Vigilance!
Yesterday was, as I read somewhere, a day of "happy stupor" for many of us, so there was no Weenie Waver Wednesday. I will endeavor to make up for that by presenting you with my post election Freak of the Week.
I know everyone had such a good time voting Tuesday that I wanted to give you all an opportunity to vote again. It is the Chicago way.
Meet Daniel Cunningham of Kalihi, Hawaii. Daniel Cunningham was identified as the landlord of a building that collapsed. It turns out that Cunningham had constructed a, eh, ramshackle structure that he rented rooms in. The structure consisted largely of metal scaffolding and tarps arranged in a warren of rooms and passageways. Several of his tenants are now planning to sue him.
Why am I telling you about this, you ask. Since when does a slumlord qualify to compete for the coveted Freak of the Week? When that slumlord is a former chiropractor who lost his license for giving mysterious "injections", and is known as "the guy who wears socks on his hands" and is a perpetual candidate for local office who founded the "Free Energy Party" based on "the technical reality of having free electricity", well, then, I'd say he qualifies. Oh, it looks like he also used some of the tenants "as lab rats" going so far as to blind one of them by injecting an unknown substance into the skin near his eyes.
When questioned by a local reporter about these "treatments" Cunningham took a page from the GOP playbook and blamed the media. Cunningham said that the law was written by "aliens" and
"I think you work for them. The media works for them and they own the money and they are eating people down below..."
The British tabloid press continues to be a good source of stories. Members of the clergy have been featured before, and this week's clergy member is an unknown vicar who showed up at the emergency room of Northern General Hospital in Sheffield.
The vicar sought medical assistance because he had a potato lodged in his bunghole.
Mr. Lasiter believed that, while shooting himself up with cocaine, he had injected himself with a potentially fatal air bubble. The only solution was to immediately amputate his own arm. Mr. Lasiter got a tasering from the police before he was taken to a hospital.
The condition of the dog is not known. Alcohol was involved.
Thanks to Lulu and Dena who both sent me links to this story. I can't tell you how proud it makes me to know that when one of you sees a story about an out of control drunk cheesehead pissing on a dog, I'm the first person you think of.
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Honorable mention to Alaska governor Sarah Palin. According to this piece in Newsweek, when McCain staffers Steve Schmidt and Mark Salter went to her room to brief her during the GOP convention, she strolled into the room fresh out of the shower, clad only in a towel. Classy!
-Our younger daughter, watching the growing disparity in electoral votes after McCain's concession speech
That about sums it up.
A few observations, in no particular order:
The pundits and newscasters were trying their hardest to keep up the suspense, hyper-analyzing every possible result to try and make it look like a competitive race. Then it was like a switch flipped, and BAM. Over. I got the impression they were simply killing time until the polls closed in California, and then they couldn't get it over with fast enough. Johnny Yen sponsored a Beat Johnny Yen contest, inviting readers to pick the time/network that would first call for Obama. I had initially placed a bet for earlier in the evening, until I remembered that networks are reluctant to call while the polls are still open. I picked MSNBC calling at 10:03pm CST. I was close but, big dummy, I wasn't even watching MSNBC at the time:
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On Sunday a coworker told me about his in-laws going to volunteer for McCain here in the northwest suburbs. When they went to the campaign office closest to them, it was closed. I told him about the series done by FiveThirtyEight.com that featured a photographer and reporter visiting campaign offices around the country, and describing the contrast between empty or closed McCain offices and busy, enthusiastic Obama offices.
On election day I got done with my chores and had a few hours to kill, so I decided to volunteer, wanting to help Mark Walker or Dan Seals. I was hoping I'd get to drive people to the polls or something. When I got to the Wheeling Township Democratic Party office, they were jammed with people. They didn't need any drivers, and they asked if I'd be willing to make some phone calls. Sure thing. They directed me to an office park in Arlington Heights, and I met Joy, the lady running the call center. They had more volunteers than they had jobs to do. She expected 3-5 volunteers, and there were 14 of us when I got there. A bunch of high school and college kids arrived as I sat making calls, and they started to send teams out to knock on doors and remind people to vote. The group of volunteers was a nice cross section of America--about equally divided between men and women, mostly white with a few blacks and latinos, and ranging in age from 13 to senior citizen. And they all seemed happy and energetic--there was a lot of friendly chatter and laughter between calls.
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Speaking of happy and excited, our polling place was busier than I've ever seen it in 18 years. There were 23 polling booths set up for 3 precincts, and at 11:45 am everything was busy but running smoothly. We walked right up and only had one person in line in front of us. I decided that I could spot the Democratic voters because they all looked excited and upbeat. I've never seen so many broad smiles at a polling place.
Get a load of this--the township I live in, Wheeling Township, is the most Republican township in Cook County. It cast 12,000 Republican ballots in the February primary, more than anywhere else in Cook County. Obama won a majority in this area, and Mark Walker got elected as state representative in what was formerly considered a Republican stronghold. For some reason, though, Mark Kirk was able to again fend off Dan Seals, so we still have a Republican congressman. Go figure.
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For those of you who voted "NO" to the proposal for a new constitutional convention in Illinois, thank you! The proposal was voted down by a margin of 64% - 35%. Again, I thank you and my pension fund thanks you.
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Upon watching his concession speech I suddenly saw John McCain as a tragic hero, and I regretted some of the angry and mean-spirited things I'd said about him.
I had always liked McCain as a politician and as a public figure; I supported him in the 2000 primary and, had he won, I would have voted for him against Al Gore in the general election. There were a few moments in this campaign where I got the sense that he was watching his own campaign slip out of his control--the exchange with the "he's an Arab" woman, for instance--and that he felt powerless to stop it. He made his own Faustian bargain, bringing on all the Rove and Bush operatives to run things for him, and then once he made that play he had to stick with it. How must he have felt these last few days? It must have been an awful moment when he realized that hiring and appealing to the people in the GOP who never liked or trusted him in the first place wasn't going to bring him victory.
I think that moment came for him some weeks ago, and it was painful watching him go through the motions after that, right up until yesterday. Now it's over, and giving one of the most simple and gracious concession speeches I can remember probably won't do much to ameliorate the anger, resentment and outright hatred his campaign generated in its closing weeks.
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Yesterday was the first time our eldest daughter got to vote in a presidential election. She was thrilled, and I'm so glad that there are millions of young people like her, enthusiastic and engaged. I hope they all stay that way; our nation is going to need them, and all of us, in the coming years.
There's an apocryphal story about FDR paying a visit to retired Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. shortly after his inauguration in 1932. After the meeting, Holmes supposedly said that FDR had a "second class intellect, but a first class temperament." I still haven't decided if Barack Obama has the potential to be another FDR, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
They must have been voting for the president, or something...
"It was better before, before they voted for what's his name..." -John Doe/Exene Cervenka
"The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all" -G.K. Chesterton
Tomorrow's your chance folks. Let's make it better again.
Illinois Voters: Please vote NO on a constitutional convention!
There. Have I got your attention? Thanks.
For those of you reading this blog who live and vote in Illinois, I have a very important favor to ask you. When you go to vote next Tuesday, you'll see a referendum on the ballot that looks like this:
Constitutional Convention Explanation of Proposed Call
This proposal deals with a call for a state Constitutional Convention. The last such convention was held in 1969-70, and a new Constitution was adopted in 1970. The 1970 Illinois Constitution requires that the question of calling a convention be placed before the voters every 20 years. If you support the calling of a Constitutional Convention, vote “YES.” If you oppose the calling of a Constitutional Convention, vote “NO.”
For the calling of a Constitutional Convention.
Please, PLEASE vote "NO". Here's why.
A lot of us here in Illinois are beyond frustrated with our state government, and that frustration is fueling the drive to call a new constitutional convention. To me, the most important reason to oppose a new constitutional convention is that it would give politicians in Springfield a chance to completely re-write the existing laws governing public pensions, potentially allowing politicians access to the money in our pension funds. A lot of politicians cast a hungry eye toward the millions of currently protected dollars sitting in the pension funds of police officers, firefighters and teachers. I don't want them screwing around with my retirement fund. Simple as that.
American Insurance Association Associated Fire Fighters of Illinois Center for Tax and Budget Accountability Chicago Urban League Chicagoland Chamber of Commerce Citizen Action/Illinois The Greater Springfield Chamber of Commerce Illinois Association of Convenience Stores Illinois Association of Park Districts Illinois Association of School Administrators Illinois Business RoundTable Illinois Civil Justice League Illinois Education Association Illinois Farm Bureau Illinois Federation of Teachers Illinois Hispanic Chamber of Commerce Illinois Hospital Association Illinois Manufacturers Association Illinois Petroleum Marketers Association Illinois Retail Merchants Assoc. Illinois Retired Teachers Association Illinois State AFL-CIO Illinois State Chamber of Commerce Illinois State Black Chamber of Commerce Illinois Trial Lawyers Association League of Women Voters of Illinois Lincoln Park Chamber of Commerce McLean County Chamber of Commerce National Federation of Independent Businesses/Illinois Peoria Area Chamber of Commerce Police Benevolent and Protective Association of Illinois SEIU Illinois State University Annuitants Association Taxpayers' Federation of Illinois Tooling and Manufacturing Association Union League Club of Chicago
